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Jordy's Reviews posts

Thursday November 29, 2012

Jordy's Reviews: Frankenweenie (2012)

From my nephew, Jordy, 11:

I may be writing about it late, but you should see “Frankenweenie,” Tim Burtonís recreation of his own film (something you donít see every day.) It has great animation, a great story, and some problems.

“Frankenweenie” is the story of a boy and his dog, and for the sake of this movie, dog is manís best friend. (I think itís woman, butÖ) Anyway, the dog gets run over running after a baseball, which is ironic, since baseball is normally a young boyís favorite thing. The kid is lonely, so his new crazy science teacher shows how electricity sparks life back in an animal for a few seconds. Frankenweenie (2012)The kid gets an idea, and the next thing you know, the boyís dog is back. Heís happy, but then other people become involved and it gets out of hand. The story compelled me, mostly because I can relate to a dog passing on (R.I.P Seymour). It really touched me.

The animation is also crisp, with its black and white style to reference the original film. I have to say that this is being a lot more creative than a lot of other animated films. They seem to try to lure you in with color. Tim Burton brings us in with being old-school, to please adults more, it seems. Nice move, Tim Burton.

I also love the script. It references the past movie, it seems, and every line is well-written. The characters are well-made, and I feel like this movieís story has stood the test of 28 years, judging by what my grandmother thought of the movie.

However, that seems like all it has to offer. It needs more. It hits some of the highest points, but misses the others. We need a little bit of comedy, we need a bit more drama, we just need more. The movie also doesnít do too well with the action scenes in my opinion, not engaging me at all. However, this movie isnít about action or drama or comedy. This is about the story, and it does so well there, along with the animation and script, that I canít say, ďThis movie is terrible because it needs more.Ē It does so well with the high points that the low points feel less important because of the engaging story. See it when it comes to DVD with your family. You wonít regret it.

83%

Okay For 6+† (This movie has some violence in it, and with its topic of rising from the dead might scare some younger audiences.)

Next Review: Rise Of The Guardians

~Jordan Muschler

(Hi, everyone, I canít thank you enough for all the suggestions and feedback youíve given me. And now, I need another favor. If you live in the Minneapolis metro area, I would really appreciate you coming to the Riverview theatre November 29th, for I am judging in a film festival about Minnesota neighborhoods. All the money raised goes into a scholarship at Minneapolis Community and Technical College, and I would really appreciate you coming. It starts at 5:30 PM, and if you come I will review anything you want me to review, within the limits of my reviewing abilitiesólike no M-rated games or R-rated movies. Thank you for reading this.)

(Please leave a comment suggesting what you want me to review or what you thought of ďFrankenweenie.Ē Thanks!)

Ryan, Jordy and Seymour

Ryan, Jordy and Seymour.

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Posted at 05:50 AM on Nov 29, 2012 in category Jordy's Reviews
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Thursday November 22, 2012

Jordy's Reviews: Lincoln (2012)

My nephew Jordy, 11, doesn't hold back in his review of Steven Spielberg's “Lincoln”...

And the Oscar goes toÖ “Lincoln”! For what? Well, first, Daniel Day-Lewis will win best actor, because if he killed the role anymore he wouldíve been a zombie. Second, for the script, capturing the personalities of every single character. And last, Steven Spielberg, and I donít even have to explain why. HEíS STEVEN SPIELBERG!!! Why is this movie amazing? Why is nobody going to care about the supporting cast? Why did they call this movie Lincoln? Find out below! (Thereís no commercial break.)

Steven Spielberg's "Lincoln" (2012)“Lincoln” starts off with a civil war scene in which bayonets do their work and you see brutal war. Then we go to a part where some African-Americans have a conversation with Honest Abe. They talk about equality, and how maybe in the next 100 years, we could learn to have a black man be a colonel in the army. Than we see people who have memorized the Gettysburg Address. Sound boring? Itís not, unless youíre young or donít like history. In this scene, you learn 3 things: A), Daniel Day-Lewis is off-his-rocker good; B), the writing is great; and C), Lincoln is a hero. We already knew that, but now weíre sure.

I know Iíve mentioned it before, but the writing, by Tony Kushner, is amazing. Seriously, anyone who can make Abraham Lincoln say ďNo sight can make an Englishman shit quicker than the sight of George WashingtonĒ deserves an Oscar. The movie also has these comedy moments that are just hilarious but flow well and are believable.

After the opening scene, we learn about how Lincoln is trying to pass the 13th Amendment to abolish slavery in all its forms. We probably already know thatís why Lincoln is famous. However, Spielberg does this movie so well that even if I already know whatís going to happen, he can still make me nervous. I get nervous because the entire cast is excellent. Everybody. However, nobody will care. Why? Because Daniel Day-Lewis is too good. His performance might as well say, “I am the worldís biggest diva. Fear me, for I will outshadow all of you in every single way.” HEíS THAT GOOD!

The climax of the movie deserves its own paragraph. As I said, I donít care if I know the history, I was on the edge of my seat while they were voting whether to pass the 13th Amendment or not. Lincoln isnít even in the scene that much. Itís the Representatives, the speaker, the gallery and thatís it. Itís like a Clint Eastwood showdown, except thereís no action and everybodyís sitting. Itís that dramatic.

In the movie, there are also concerns involving family. Two of Lincolnís sons have already died. However, Robert (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), the eldest son, wants to join the army. Lincoln and his wife donít want him to join. Lincoln also has to take care of his youngest son, Thomas, who is very entertaining and is truly a kid in the movie.

The movie has great attention to detail. From the war scene being scarily realistic to how Lincoln is much taller than his wife, everything is done extraordinarily well.

The only problems I had with the movie were that it starts off a little bit slow but then it speeds up quickly and also that the main focus of the movie is about the 13thAmendment, and while there is some about Lincolnís family, itís mainly about his cabinet and himself getting the votes they need, and therefore, I felt like the title of the movie was not the best choice. Thatís it.

Before we went in the movie, I had a conversation with my mom that went a little something like this:

Mom: “Twilight” opened this weekend, and itís playing in five theatres. “Lincoln” is in one.
Me: What has our world come to?

I meant it. Seriously? Daniel Day-Lewis, Abraham Lincoln, and SPIELBERG outmatched by Robert Pattison and his vampire friends? Does anybody care about Lincoln anymore? Do they care that the person who got rid of slavery is being outmatched by Ö Bleh? No, they donít. Money is the only thing that matters in America now. Uggh!

Anyway, I think you get the point. “Lincoln” is great. Itís a great way to return to ďeverybody loves SpielbergĒ coming from the mixed reviews of ďWar Horse.Ē Although the movie had two problems, I think that we can all see the bigger picture: Lincoln is an amazingly-acted, well-written, beautiful film. Letís hope that the rest of the yearís movies can learn a lesson.

94%

Okay For 12+ (The movie does have language, a pretty brutal war scene, and a lot of kids probably wonít even get it. Itís a parentís kind of film.)

(Hi, everyone, I canít thank you enough for all the suggestions and feedback youíve given me. And now, I need another favor. If you live in the Minneapolis metro area, I would really appreciate you coming to the Riverview theatre November 29th, for I am judging in a film festival about Minnesota neighborhoods. All the money raised goes into a scholarship at Minneapolis Community and Technical College, and I would really appreciate you coming. It starts at 5:30 PM, and if you come I will review anything you want me to review, within the limits of my reviewing abilitiesólike no M-rated games or R-rated movies. Thank you for reading this.)

(Please leave a comment suggesting what to review next or what you thought of “Lincoln.” Thanks!)

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Posted at 09:33 AM on Nov 22, 2012 in category Jordy's Reviews
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Thursday November 15, 2012

Jordy's Reviews: Skyfall (2012)

My 11-year-old nephew, Jordy, disagreed with my review of “Skyfall.” Here's his take.

**

When I think about James Bond, I think guns, girls and awesome. Not emotional. In Skyfall, we get guns, awesome, emotional, but no main girl that he actually hooks up with for a little bit. Also, this isnít James Bondís story to tell. This is about M, and her mistakes, and what she did. Itís a revenge plot done so well, almost nobody could hate it.

The movie opens with Bond on a mission to get a hard-drive with a list of names of secret agents when he gets shot off a train. Then we go into the intro with no naked girls swimming in the background. Thatís the first sign that this movie is different. By the way, compliments to the intro. In James Bond movies, they open with a very popular artistís song with the title in it over a great animation. In Skyfall, the artist is ADELE, whom Iíve always liked, despite being more of a target for girls. She creates a great song that matches the tone of the movie. After this, without James Bond and the missing hard-drive, everything goes to hell for MI6. The headquarters gets attacked, MI6 gets hacked, and everything messes up. Without Bond, MI6 is nothing. Then Bond returns from the dead, because heís James Bond, and because you canít have a James Bond movie without James Bond. From here on out, itís a mission to stop the person whoís doing this.

Along the way, he meets girls who donít last. They come and go, and itís probably because they donít have any chemistry. Daniel Craig is great as James Bond. This isnít everythingís-got-to-be-funny James Bond. This is gritty, tough, badass James Bond with a good sense of humor. There are some funny with Bond. Judi Dench is also good. However, it is Javier Bardem as the villain who steals the show. He is a smart, sinister, and kind of scary. Daniel Craigís got his first amazing villain. (He had good ones before, just not amazing ones.)

Bardemís character opens with a very scary story about how he got rats to eat each other, and then released those rats to kill all the other ones. Itís very well-written. Skyfall is written very well. From the conversations to the kill quotes, itís all smart and original. Also, the action scenes are spectacular, especially the final action scene, in which Bond does awesome things, but the things he does make sense. I could go on with how amazing this movie is, but how about something bad about it? There are some things that nobody will understand until later in the movie. Itís pretty stupid. Itís foreshadowing done badly. Unfortunately, Iím a spoiler-free reviewer, so I canít use it, but it doesnít change the fact that this movie is amazing. I donít understand how someone who will not be named (Uncle Erik) could not like it. Donít even go to his review without knowing that this movie is amazing.

~Muschler. Jordan Muschler.

93%

Okay For 14+

(Hi, everyone, I canít thank you enough for all the suggestions and feedback youíve given me. And now, I need another favor. If you live in the Minneapolis metro area, I would really appreciate you coming to the Riverview theatre November 29th, for I am judging in a film festival about Minnesota neighborhoods. All the money raised goes into a scholarship at Minneapolis Community and Technical College, and I would really appreciate you coming. It starts at 5:30 PM, and if you come I will review anything you want me to review, within the limits of my reviewing abilitiesólike no M-rated games or R-rated movies. Thank you for reading this. Next review: Frankenweenie)

Daniel Craig as James Bond, 007, in "Skyfall"

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Posted at 07:05 AM on Nov 15, 2012 in category Jordy's Reviews
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Thursday November 08, 2012

Jordy's Reviews: Wreck-It Ralph (2012)

Another movie review from my 11-year-old, video-game-playing, Alfred-Hitchcock-admiring nephew, Jordy...

Video-game movies have a tendency to suck. They normally have a terribly written script, horrendous acting, and just are not appealing to most people. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World changed all this with its great acting, comic book elements, and just blew ďVideo game movies stink!Ē out of the water. The question was then could another movie about video games with its main story not stink?

poster for Disney's Wreck-It Ralph (2012)Wreck-It Ralph says yes, with Mario Kart and Donkey Kong on top of the cake. It is like a documentary on what video games go through, except less stupid and more original.

The story is about a guy named Wreck-It Ralph (voiced by John C. Reilly), a video game villain that is underappreciated by his fellow video game crew and goes on a quest for a medal so he can prove that heís a good guy. However, it turns into an adventure on its own, LIKE a video game. He first goes to Heroís Duty, a First-Person Shooter (FPS) where he questions, ďWhen did games become so violent?Ē I agree. We donít need BFGís or Spartan Lasers. Heck, Mario only needs his feet. Anyway, in Heroís Duty, he meets Sue Sylvester- I mean, Jane Lynch. Sorry, she just basically has Sueís personality. She plays Sergeant Calhoun, in a Sue-riffic role. He gets a medal in it, but then accidentally enters a racing game, Sugar Rush, which is basically Mario Kart with candy! Hooray!

Iím not going to spoil anymore, but the story is good. It's also very funny, with some jokes that hardcore gamers will get (The password to a video gameís code is the contra code.) There is also a joke about a new game in the arcade, where the good guy, Fix-It Felix (voiced by Jack McBrayer), says, ďLook at the high-definition on your face.Ē I think itís a great line. The movie is very well-written. Little kids might not get some of the words, like glitches or code, just some stuff that makes up a game. What intrigues me about the story is that it takes a very unoriginal approachóan outcast becomes the heroóbut puts it in this video game world that is so colorful (Sugar Rush) so bland (Heroís Duty) and just plain old school (Fix-It Felix), and puts these worlds together perfectly. Only a great movie can do that. It also gets some shots of the real world, us, in the arcade. How we take advantage of the video game world and kill the video game people when they do not please us. I guess hippies were right when they said, ďThereís a world in all of us.Ē Video Games have souls, too. Think about that the next time you shoot an alien in the face in Halo

~Jordan Muschler

89%

Okay For 7+

(Leave a comment for ideas of a review. If you have any feedback, please tell me. I love feedback! The next review is the new Frankenweenie from Tim Burton.)

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Posted at 06:52 AM on Nov 08, 2012 in category Jordy's Reviews
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Sunday November 04, 2012

Jordy's Reviews: 'Pokemon Black and White 2'

A video-game review by my 11-year-old nephew Jordan...

Pokemon Black And White 2 is the sequel to Pokemon Black And White. It takes place two years after the events of Black And White and is superior in almost every way to its predecessor.

You start off as a new character in a new town. As always, you get a Pokemon and decide to go on an adventure. The main story is always the same, basically, but now you get to see everything that happened after the first game. Itís very cool, and itís a Pokemon first thatís welcome.

I also love the graphics. If you take a quick look, you might think theyíre the same, but theyíre not. They have basically taken the same kind of style for Black And White but improved everything and redesigned some places to make them look better.

Some areas are gone because they have been replaced by new areas, like the Pokemon World Tournament which I love. Also, Pokemon from other regions are available from the get-go.

However, the same downsides to Pokemon are there again. Sometimes, when youíre in a battle, youíll lose, and then do that battle again, the same way, and you win. DONíT GET THIS. RESULTS ARE RANDOM??

Another thing I donít like about the game is that there are not enough training areas. I underleveled my Pokemon the ENTIRE game, which was annoying.

However, those are basically the only things I donít like. Thatís pretty impressive. Also, it has VERY LONG replay value. The replay value only stops when youíve beaten every single trainer, caught every single Pokemon, and gotten your main party to Lv. 100, the highest level, and it goes on with replayable trainers and things like Black Tower and White Treehollow. Thatís a long time playing this game.

The music is great. However, my favorite music will always be in Heartgold and Soulsilver. (Recommendation: Get music from those games.)

Finally, this game is really, really fun. I mean it. This RPG (Role-Playing-Game) is probably one of the best ones ever made. Itís that amazing, especially if your Pokemon are awesome. Pokemon also makes you love your Pokemon like you love your dog or cat. I mean, not as much, but itís kind of like a spiritual bond. Not many games do that with me, or with anybody, for that matter. Itís awesome. This game is just appealing from every single standard. Get it.

Story: 7.2
Graphics: 7.9
Sound: 8.1
Gameplay: 9.9
Replay Value: 10
Overall Score: 91

Pokemon Black and White 2

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Posted at 12:30 PM on Nov 04, 2012 in category Jordy's Reviews
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