Tim Keeney is tracking all of the parting gifts MLB teams are giving Derek Jeter during his farewell tour/season. These include:

• An electric guitar (Cleveland)
• Stan Musial cufflinks (St. Louis)
• Art made from subway tiles (Mets)
• A New York Yankees #2 surfboard (Angels, bro)
• The last second base used in the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome (Minnesota, yah)

Is anyone else embarrassed by all this? The man's the competition. What would Bob Gibson say? (What does Bob Gibson say?) I'm so tired of these gladhanding farewell tours. Who started this? Mariano last year? Cal Ripken in 2001? Because I don't remember a Willie Mays farewell tour. Or a Hank Aaron. Or a Harmon Killebrew.

But if we're going to do it, let's do it right. Here are my suggestions for parting MLB gifts for old #2:

• The ball that was blooped over his head to win the 2001 World Series for the Diamondbacks (Arizona)
• The bat Jhonny Peralta used to hit the routine grounder to short, on which Jeter broke his ankle, in Game 1 of the 2012 ALCS (Detroit)
• A Tony Tarasco “I wuz robbed” bobblehead, to remind Jeter that his first postseason homerun, the Jeffrey Maier homerun, which tied Game 1 of the 1996 ALCS in the 8th inning, was total bullshit (Baltimore)
• A glove made from the garbage found in NY subways, to honor Jeter's five Gold Gloves and career -9.4 defensive WAR (Mets)
• A DVD of ESPN's documentary “Four Days in October,” about the unprecedented comeback of the 2004 Boston Red Sox (Boston)
• One of Dave Roberts' running gloves from Game 4 (Boston)
• A David Ortiz jersey from Game 5 (Boston)
• A pair of white socks and a bottle of ketchup (Boston)
• A midge farm (Cleveland)
• A request for Minka Kelly's phone number (Oakland, Texas, Tampa Bay ... pretty much everyone)
• A ticket stub from the Kingdome, May 30, 1995, Mariners vs. Yankees, the game in which Jeter got his first hit. Wait, who is this for again? Jeter? Psych! (Seattle)
• A door, which shouldn't hit him on the way out (Minnesota)

Feel free to add your own in the comments section.

Of all the Jeter gifts, I like the surfboard best.