MICHAEL: Before we wrap this up here, can I just put something out into the universe—like the secret? I just want to put something out into the universe. I just want to remind anyone who might be listening who works in the Dodgers organization of a truth about the universe, okay? Giancarlo Stanton has never once in his entire career made contact with a slider. If you throw Giancarlo Stanton a fastball, he will hit it 520 feet. So in my opinion, in my humble opinion, it would be a better idea to throw Giancarlo Stanton sliders. It would be more optimal for the Dodgers to throw him sliders low and away than it would be to throw him fastballs belt high on the inner half.

JOE: What would you think about throwing two sliders low and away that he swings at and misses and then throw three balls out of the zone and then throw a fastball? How would that work?

MICHAEL: I was with you until you got to the point where you throw him the fastball. Here's the way I would suggest you approach Giancarlo Stanton. I would throw him a slider low and away.

JOE: Yep.

MICHAEL: Then on the next pitch, I would throw him a slider low and away.

JOE: OK, good.

MICHAEL: And then as a change up, as a way to like throw him off balance ... I would throw him a slider low and away.

JOE: And then what would you do if he just said, “No, I'm not swinging.”

MICHAEL: It's a great question. I would throw him a slider low and away.

JOE: OK.

MICHAEL: Followed by two sliders low and away.

JOE: Yes.

MICHAEL: And then a slider low and away. And let me say one other thing. At some point, Dodgers pitchers, you may be thinking to yourself—because this is how you were trained as a pitcher—“I need to,” and I quote, “establish the fastball,” end quote. And what I would say to you, Dodger pitchers, “No, you don't.”

JOE: Right.

MICHAEL: You don't. You do not need to establish anything. What you need to do is throw a slider that starts at the knees on the outer half and breaks out of the zone. And if it doesn't work, you should do it 50 more times.

-- Michael Schur and Joe Posnanski, on the latest Poscast, with midseason vaudeville comic timing. It's an exchange that made me very, very happy.