Welcome to … Universal Exports. Ninety-five percent of your class has already dropped out of our training program, but you, the top five percent, remain. There is, however, one test left. Take the quiz below and we’ll figure out where to place you: in administration, in the Q branch, in the secretarial pool, or scrubbing toilets. Get 100 percent and you’ll be given the most coveted position of all: double-oh secret agent.

1. Ian Fleming named his secret agent after who ... or what?

• A: His favorite uncle
• B: An American soldier who saved his life during World War II.
• C: The author of the book, “Birds of the West Indies.“
• D: It was a pun on Thames Bonds, of which he was a major shareholder.

The correct answer is C: Ian Fleming got the name James Bond from one of his favorite books, “Birds of the West Indies.” Fleming said he wanted “a really flat, quiet name” and James Bond fit the bill.

2. For the first three films, the man who appears in the “gun barrel sequence” was not Sean Connery. Who was he?

• A: Stuntman Bob Simmons
• B: Producer Albert Broccoli
• C: Author Ian Fleming
• D: Actor Jack Lord

The correct answer is A: Stuntman Bob Simmons was the man in the gun sites for the first three Bond films. He was a stunt double for Sean Connery and stayed with the franchise in various stunt capacities until “A View to a Kill” in 1985. He died in 1988.

3. In “Dr. No,” what prompts Bond to introduce himself as “Bond. James Bond” at the baccarat table?

• A: The croupier is hard of hearing.
• B: A woman at the table introduces herself as “Trench. Sylvia Trench.”
• C: Dr. No asks for his name — last name first.
• D: That’s actually his name: Bond James Bond. His real first name, “Bond,” was dropped in subsequent movies as too confusing.

The correct answer is B: A woman introduces herself as “Trench. Sylvia Trench.” Here’s the dialogue:

         Bond: I admire your courage, Miss...?
         Trench: Trench. Sylvia Trench. I admire your luck, Mr...?
         Bond: Bond. James Bond.

4. In “Goldfinger,” Bond tells Jill Masterson that drinking Dom Perignon ’53 above 38 degrees is as bad as...?

• A: “Sex without foreplay.”
• B: “Shirts without cufflinks.”
• C: “Drinking Dom Perignon '38 below 53 degrees.”
• D: “Listening to the Beatles without earmuffs.”

The correct answer is D: Bond felt it was as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs. This was when they were still “mop-tops” known for their “yeah yeah yeah” music. Before they became, well, bigger than Bond.

5. What is Bond’s response when Honor Blackman introduces herself as Pussy Galore?

• A: “I must be dreaming.”
• B: “I must talk to your parents.”
• C: “High school must’ve been hell for you.”
• D: “My name is Bond. James Bond.”

The correct answer is A: “I must be dreaming.”

6. Ernst Blofeld, the head of SPECTRE, is seen petting a cat in most early Bond films. In which film do we first see his face?

• A: “From Russia with Love” (1963)
• B: “Thunderball” (1965)
• C: “You Only Live Twice” (1967)
• D: “Spectre” (2015)

The correct answer is C: Blofeld’s face was first seen, with a scar down the eye, in “You Only Live Twice.” Donald Pleasance got the honor.

7. Which is the first movie where Bond does NOT wear a fedora during the gun barrel sequence?

• A: “Goldfinger” (1964)
• B: “Thunderball” (1965)
• C: “You Only Live Twice” (1967)
• D: “Live and Let Die” (1973)

The correct answer is D: Bond finally loses his fedora in the gun barrel sequence in “Live and Let Die,” the first Roger Moore film. A few times in the ‘80s, Moore carried a fedora into Miss Moneypenny’s office, but he never wore one. And that was that. 

8. At the end of the pre-title sequence in “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service,” Bond (George Lazenby) turns to the camera and says...what?

• A: “This never happened to the other fellow.”
• B: “I must be dreaming.”
• C: “Instant karma’s gonna get you.”
• D: “My name is Bond. James Bond.”

The correct answer is A: Lazenby said, “This never happened to the other fellow.” The “this,” by the way, is being ditched by a girl.

9. What is the name of the CIA agent who has appeared in numerous Bond movies?

• A: Alex Bradbury
• B: Smitty Wesson
• C: Felix Leiter
• D: Michael Busick

The correct answer is C: Felix Leiter is the CIA agent who helps Bond from time to time. For the record, he’s been played by eight different actors: Jack Lord (“Dr. No”), Cec Linder (“Goldfinger”), Rik Van Nutter (“Thunderball”), Norman Burton (“Diamonds are Forever”), David Hedison (“Live and Let Die” and “License to Kill”), Bernie Casey (“Never Say Never Again”), John Terry (“The Living Daylights”) and Jeffrey Wright (“Casino Royale” and ”Quantum of Solace“).

10. In what fundamental way were the producers going to change James Bond in 1970?

• A: They were going to make him American, and star Adam West.
• B: They were going to make him French, and star Jean Paul Belmondo.
• C: They were going to make him a teenager, and star Kurt Russell.
• D: They were going to make him a woman, and star Raquel Welch.

The correct answer is A: The Bond producers were contemplating making Bond an American, and considered both Adam West and Burt Reynolds for the part. At one point, TV actor John Gavin was even signed for “Diamonds are Forever” but was set aside when Connery agreed to return. Gavin had to settle for becoming U.S. ambassador to Mexico during the Reagan administration.

11. In the first Roger Moore movies, Bond does not smoke cigarettes. What does he do instead?

• A: He smokes cigars.
• B: He sucks lollipops.
• C: He chews gum.
• D: He chews tobacco.

The correct answer is A: He smokes cigars. Then he gives up all forms of oral fixation. Cough.

12. What characteristic does the villain Francisco Scaramanga in “The Man with the Golden Gun” share with a character on “The Simpsons”?

• A: He sucks a pacifier — like Maggie.
• B: He says “D’Oh!” – like Homer.
• C: He has a third nipple – like Krusty the Klown.
• D: He tastes like a peanut — like Hans Moleman.

The correct answer is C: He has a superfluous third nipple — just like Krusty the Klown.

13. What happens to Bond during the pre-title sequence in “Moonraker”?

• A: He gets pushed out of a plane without a parachute.
• B: He is pulled by a helicopter around Kuala Lumpur.
• C: He gets teased by the other double-oh secret agents for the size of his gun.
• D: He plays Pong.

The correct answer is A: He gets pushed out of a plane without a parachute. For my money, it’s the best Bond opening ever.

14. What future Academy Award-winning actor plays Dario, Sanchez’s sadistic henchman in “License to Kill” (1989)?

• A: Alfred Molina
• B: Kevin Spacey
• C: Benicio del Toro
• D: Marisa Tomei

The correct answer is C: Benicio del Toro plays Dario. “Don’t worry. We gave her a nice honeymoooooon.”

15. Which of the following does the new “M” (Judi Dench) NOT call Bond in “Goldeneye”?

• A: Sexist and misogynistic
• B: A dinosaur
• C: A relic of the Cold War
• D: A great piece of ass

The correct answer is D.

16. When Bond visits Q in “Die Another Day,” what gadget from a previous Bond film does he toy with?

• A: Ursula Andress’ bikini from “Dr. No”
• B: The jet pack from “Thunderball”
• C: A crocodile from “Live and Let Die”
• D: Sean Connery’s toupee from “Diamonds are Forever”

The correct answer is B: Besides the jet pack from “Thunderball,” he also picks up Rosa Klebb’s deadly shoe from “From Russia with Love.” Meanwhile, in Cuba, he also flipped through the book “Birds of the West Indies,” which we all know, if we’ve been reading these answers, was one of Ian Fleming’s favorite books, and the inspiration for the name “James Bond.”

17. In 2006’s “Casino Royale,” Danish actor Mads Mikkelson plays Bond’s baccarat nemesis Le Chiffre. What other two actors have played Le Chiffre?

• A: Peter Lorre and Orson Welles
• B: Peter Sellers and Woody Allen
• C: Vincent Price and Dean Martin
• D: Danny Bonaduce and Christopher Knight

The correct answer is A: In a 1954 TV version of “Casino Royale” with American Barry Nelson playing Jimmy Bond, Peter Lorre was cast as Le Chiffre; and in the 1967 “Casino Royale” send-up starring David Niven, Orson Welles played Le Chiffre.

18. Which country has produced the most Bond girls in the 24 official Bond films?

• A: America
• B: Japan
• C: France
• D: Sweden

The correct answer is A: America. Although the first American Bond girl, Jill St. John, didn’t come along until 1971, there have now been more American-born actresses cast in the part than actresses from any other country. The international rundown:

• America: 7
• France: 5
• England: 4
• Sweden: 2
• Switzerland, Italy, Japan, Poland, Malaysia, Ukraine: 1 each
  

19. Which of the following actors has NOT had a famous ”emerging from the surf“ scene in a Bond movie?

• A: Ursula Andress
• B: Halle Berry
• C: Daniel Craig
• D: Judi Dench

The correct answer is D: Judi Dench. Although she totally could've pulled it off.

20. Which of the following singers did NOT sing a James Bond title song?

• A: Tom Jones
• B: A-Ha
• C: Sheryl Crow
• D: Donny Osmond

The correct answer is D: Donny Osmond. Although he totally could've pulled it off. 

21. Which of the following actors has NOT played a Bond villain?

• A: Telly Savalas
• B: Yaphet Kotto
• C: Rutger Hauer
• D: Sean Bean

The correct answer is C: Rutger Hauer has never played a Bond villain. 

22. Which is NOT the name of a Bond girl?

• A: Honey Ryder
• B: Mary Goodnight
• C: Patty Goodlay
• D: Holly Goodhead

The correct answer is C: Patty Goodlay. Honey Ryder is from “Dr. No,” Mary Goodnight is from “The Man with the Golden Gun,” and Holly Goodhead (Dr. Holly Goodhead) is from “Moonraker.”

23. Which of the following puns does Bond NOT use after killing someone?

• A: “I think he got the point.”
• B: “Bon appetit.”
• C: “He always did have an inflated opinion of himself.”
• D: ”Stick around.“

The correct answer is D: ”Stick around.“ “I think he got the point” is from “Thunderball,” “Bon appetit” is from “You Only Live Twice” and “The Living Daylights,” and “He always did have an inflated opinion of himself” is from “Live and Let Die.” “Stick around” is Schwarzenegger in the first “Predator” movie.