Here's the plan. We find every 14-year-old that's propeling “Transformers 2” toward the $400 million mark in the U.S., and possibly the $1 billion mark globally, and in 30 years force them to watch it again. Plus the original. Plus all sequels. Plus the '80s series. Back to back to back to back. As a way of saying thanks.

The movie's box office has fallen off, certainly, but not preciptiously liked I'd hoped. I had my fingers crossed for “Gigli” numbers (-81% during its second weekend) or at least “Wolverine” numbers (-69%), but “Transformers” only fell off by “Terminator: Salvation” numbers: -61%.

I'm hoping for better next weekend. Stop the stupidity. While we can.