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Pirating Wolverine

From yesterday's New York Times: In a case of piracy that some analysts called unprecedented, untold thousands of people watched a version of “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” online Wednesday, a full month before its scheduled theater release. The film’s distributor, 20th Century Fox, said it did not know how the unfinished copy of the comic book adaptation was leaked onto the Internet. The copy was missing many special effects and included temporary sound and music. Nonetheless, it circulated widely online beginning late Tuesday, even prompting some viewers to publish reviews, favorable and unfavorable, of the hotly anticipated film…

HOLLYWOOD, CA — In a case of piracy that some analysts called unfortunate, millions of online fans downloaded an unedited version of “Wolverine II” a full four months before its scheduled Blu-Ray release.

Reaction has been mixed. Some fans refused to wade through the nearly six hours of raw, unedited footage. Others were dismayed that special effects were not yet added. “His claws don’t even come out!” wrote Pakled of itsjustamovie.com. “Or he’s supposed to leap? And he just leaps a little bit and then you hear some dude yell, ‘Cut!’ I mean how lame is that?”

Others were not only excited by the footage but offered tips. “The second-unit director obviously doesn’t know what he’s doing,” wrote Hollywoody.com, the influential insider blog. “Plus the Princess Tam-Tam character seems totally superfluous. Not to mention flat-chested.”

The studio could not be reached for comment.

HOLLYWOODY, CA — In a case of piracy that some analysts called unexciting, the first daily rushes from “Wolverine III: Princess Tam-Tam’s Revenge” wound up online a full month before the film’s scheduled online release.

Reviews have been brutal.

“Am I to understand that Mark Steven Johnson considers this scene complete?” said DickDick of the vlog “B&B.” "Why, there are values and dimensions he hasn’t begun to hit!”

Producers are treating the leak less as an act of piracy and more as a means of helping shape the picture. “The fans are the ones who keep this franchise alive,” said producer Fenton Dunstan, who added that he’s passing “notes” from fans to director Johnson.

“He’ll pay attention or he’s gone,” Dunstan said. “It's that simple.”

Johnson could be reached for comment.

HOWDYDOODY, CA — An attempt to reboot the moribund “Wolverine” franchise has been scuttled when the germ of an idea from the brain of screenwriter Doc Wahlberg was immediately uploaded to the Internet and torn apart by rabid fans.

“Oh right. A reboot. How original,” said Hollywoody.

“Snkkt this, motherhumper,” said DickDick.

“That stupid,” said Pakled.

Everyone everywhere could be reached for comment.

Posted at 12:57 PM on Fri. Apr 03, 2009 in category Movies

COMMENTS

Uncle Vinny wrote:

Someday, the salival salinity and epidermal hydrostatic response of every living thing everywhere will be polled assiduously in place of "comments", and the hive mind shall be immanentized!

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Pirating Wolverine

COMMENTS

Uncle Vinny wrote:

Comment posted on Fri. Apr 03, 2009 at 03:54 PM

Mister B wrote:

Comment posted on Fri. Apr 03, 2009 at 04:42 PM