• Fireman who didn't die on 9/11.
• Soldiers who didn't die or get wounded in Afghanistan, Iraq, et al. Also captured, of course.
• Yankee teams that didn't lose the World Series. Not like those 2001 bums. And just when the city needed them, too. 
• “Rocky II,” “Rocky III” and “Rocky IV.” Go the distance, my ass. 
• Kreese. None of this wax-on/wax-off shit. I pay people for that.
• Old men in the sea who know how to land a fucking fish.

From his comments yesterday about John McCain's war hero status: “I like people who weren't captured.” Feel free to add your own. 

ADDENDUM: Jon Stewart, of course, did it better. On his show Monday night, he played the above clip, and said, as Trump, “And if I may ... fuck cancer survivors, too. Hey, let me just say this. I like people who don't get cancer.”