Saturday January 29, 2022

More Censored Chinese Endings to Classic Hollywood Movies

“Big Nurse ain't so bad, right?”

Apparently China has broken the first, second and third rules of “Fight Club”: It's gotten everyone talking about “Fight Club.”

In case you haven't heard: It was recently discovered that on a Chinese streaming service, Tencent, the ending to the dystopic, cultish 1999 Brad Pitt-Ed Norton movie has been changed/censored. Instead of the Narrator (Norton) realizing that Tyler (Pitt) is a figment of his imagination, and he and the girl, Marla (Helena Bonham Carter), watching the tall financial buildings around them blowing up and imploding like a precursor to 9/11, we get a title card with the following revision:

“Through the clue provided by Tyler, the police rapidly figured out the whole plan and arrested all criminals, successfully preventing the bomb from exploding. After the trial, Tyler was sent to [a] lunatic asylum receiving psychological treatment. He was discharged from the hospital in 2012.”

You'd think a movie about the decadence and economic disparity of the west would fit the Communist Chinese narrative, but apparently not. Also, whoever wrote the above didn't seem to know that Tyler didn't really exist. Also, they didn't have it copy-edited by a native speaker, since they make the classic ESL mistake of leaving out the indefinite article. They play into the stereotype.

Anyway, the whole thing makes me wonder how China might change the ending to other classic Hollywood movies.

The Godfather
Kay went to police and all the Corleone family was arrested. She remained loyal to Michael, and visited him, and he promised to go straight. He was discharged from prison in 1977 and returned to making a living in the olive oil import-export business. Fredo became a successful manager in Las Vegas. Connie remarried to a nice man.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
McMurphy was only faking the lobotomy and he was fine. Then he and Bromden realized that Big Nurse was strict but big-hearted and they decided to behave themselves for the good of society. They were discharged from the hospital in 1981.

Chinatown
Noah Cross convinced Jake that the irrigation project was a glorious project that will bring many benefits to the people. Katherine is his granddaughter and Evelyn misspoke before. They were all happy to be together. When Jake suggested getting an American meal, Noah told him, “Forget it, Jake, let's go to Chinatown.”

Alright, this kind of thing isn't my forte, but, in my defense, the whole thing seems beyond satire. Joseph Breen had nothing on these guys.

Posted at 10:49 AM on Saturday January 29, 2022 in category Movies  
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