erik lundegaard

Jordy's Reviews: Lincoln (2012)

My nephew Jordy, 11, doesn't hold back in his review of Steven Spielberg's “Lincoln”...

And the Oscar goes to… “Lincoln”! For what? Well, first, Daniel Day-Lewis will win best actor, because if he killed the role anymore he would’ve been a zombie. Second, for the script, capturing the personalities of every single character. And last, Steven Spielberg, and I don’t even have to explain why. HE’S STEVEN SPIELBERG!!! Why is this movie amazing? Why is nobody going to care about the supporting cast? Why did they call this movie Lincoln? Find out below! (There’s no commercial break.)

Steven Spielberg's "Lincoln" (2012)“Lincoln” starts off with a civil war scene in which bayonets do their work and you see brutal war. Then we go to a part where some African-Americans have a conversation with Honest Abe. They talk about equality, and how maybe in the next 100 years, we could learn to have a black man be a colonel in the army. Than we see people who have memorized the Gettysburg Address. Sound boring? It’s not, unless you’re young or don’t like history. In this scene, you learn 3 things: A), Daniel Day-Lewis is off-his-rocker good; B), the writing is great; and C), Lincoln is a hero. We already knew that, but now we’re sure.

I know I’ve mentioned it before, but the writing, by Tony Kushner, is amazing. Seriously, anyone who can make Abraham Lincoln say “No sight can make an Englishman shit quicker than the sight of George Washington” deserves an Oscar. The movie also has these comedy moments that are just hilarious but flow well and are believable.

After the opening scene, we learn about how Lincoln is trying to pass the 13th Amendment to abolish slavery in all its forms. We probably already know that’s why Lincoln is famous. However, Spielberg does this movie so well that even if I already know what’s going to happen, he can still make me nervous. I get nervous because the entire cast is excellent. Everybody. However, nobody will care. Why? Because Daniel Day-Lewis is too good. His performance might as well say, “I am the world’s biggest diva. Fear me, for I will outshadow all of you in every single way.” HE’S THAT GOOD!

The climax of the movie deserves its own paragraph. As I said, I don’t care if I know the history, I was on the edge of my seat while they were voting whether to pass the 13th Amendment or not. Lincoln isn’t even in the scene that much. It’s the Representatives, the speaker, the gallery and that’s it. It’s like a Clint Eastwood showdown, except there’s no action and everybody’s sitting. It’s that dramatic.

In the movie, there are also concerns involving family. Two of Lincoln’s sons have already died. However, Robert (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), the eldest son, wants to join the army. Lincoln and his wife don’t want him to join. Lincoln also has to take care of his youngest son, Thomas, who is very entertaining and is truly a kid in the movie.

The movie has great attention to detail. From the war scene being scarily realistic to how Lincoln is much taller than his wife, everything is done extraordinarily well.

The only problems I had with the movie were that it starts off a little bit slow but then it speeds up quickly and also that the main focus of the movie is about the 13th Amendment, and while there is some about Lincoln’s family, it’s mainly about his cabinet and himself getting the votes they need, and therefore, I felt like the title of the movie was not the best choice. That’s it.

Before we went in the movie, I had a conversation with my mom that went a little something like this:

Mom: “Twilight” opened this weekend, and it’s playing in five theatres. “Lincoln” is in one.
Me: What has our world come to?

I meant it. Seriously? Daniel Day-Lewis, Abraham Lincoln, and SPIELBERG outmatched by Robert Pattison and his vampire friends? Does anybody care about Lincoln anymore? Do they care that the person who got rid of slavery is being outmatched by … Bleh? No, they don’t. Money is the only thing that matters in America now. Uggh!

Anyway, I think you get the point. “Lincoln” is great. It’s a great way to return to “everybody loves Spielberg” coming from the mixed reviews of “War Horse.” Although the movie had two problems, I think that we can all see the bigger picture: Lincoln is an amazingly-acted, well-written, beautiful film. Let’s hope that the rest of the year’s movies can learn a lesson.


Okay For 12+ (The movie does have language, a pretty brutal war scene, and a lot of kids probably won’t even get it. It’s a parent’s kind of film.)

(Hi, everyone, I can’t thank you enough for all the suggestions and feedback you’ve given me. And now, I need another favor. If you live in the Minneapolis metro area, I would really appreciate you coming to the Riverview theatre November 29th, for I am judging in a film festival about Minnesota neighborhoods. All the money raised goes into a scholarship at Minneapolis Community and Technical College, and I would really appreciate you coming. It starts at 5:30 PM, and if you come I will review anything you want me to review, within the limits of my reviewing abilities—like no M-rated games or R-rated movies. Thank you for reading this.)

(Please leave a comment suggesting what to review next or what you thought of “Lincoln.” Thanks!)

Posted at 09:33 AM on Thu. Nov 22, 2012 in category Jordy's Reviews  
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Herr Zugzwang wrote:

Your best review yet, Jordy! Are you planning to see “Brooklyn Castle”, about the kids playing chess?

Comment posted on Thu. Nov 22, 2012 at 12:06 PM

Jordan Muschler wrote:

I have no idea what that is, but I'll look it up.

Comment posted on Thu. Nov 22, 2012 at 12:36 PM

Bob Lundegaard wrote:

Great job, Jordy. I think this is a milestone: The first of your reviews in which I've actually seen the movie!

Comment posted on Fri. Nov 23, 2012 at 03:23 PM

Jordan Muschler wrote:


Comment posted on Fri. Nov 23, 2012 at 06:27 PM

Jordan Muschler wrote:

Is anybody planning to go to the flim festival? (I will be in your debt.)

Comment posted on Mon. Nov 26, 2012 at 06:28 PM

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