In the past I've poked fun at Jeff Wells' anti-“Lincoln” rants and his perverse insistence on schooling Jackie Robinson on baseball but I love it when he goes on rants about the shit he hates in modern movies. Maybe because it's the same shit I hate. A recent example:

Studly, sword-brandishing, robe-wearing beardo: “I know what you are.” Tantalizing Lucretia McEvil: “You have no idea.” Brrrnnnggg! Any film in which a major adversarial character says “you have no idea” is instantly disqualified. Everything loathsome and detestable about 21st Century mass-moron pulp entertainment in one downmarket Asian combat film. Cartoon-level CGI. Robes. Samurai swords. Catchy macho-challenge lines (i.e., “C’mon”). Steely glares. A once-influential marquee-name actor reduced to pandering to people whose taste in movies couldn’t be more primitive or less evolved.

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

He's writing about “47 Ronin,” starring Keanu Reeves and Rinko Kikuchi. Trailer here. Enjoy:

All previous entries