Box Office: Latest Vin Diesel Movie Bombs, But That's Not the Story
This past weekend, the fourth go-round for Ridley Scott's “The Martian” returned to first place at the domestic box office with a $15.7 million take, the second weekend of “Goosebumps” fell to second with $15.5 mil, while the second weekend of “Bridges of Spies” held at third with $11.3 million.
But that's not the real story.
The ginormous success of the “Fast and Furious” franchise is apparently still not transfering to its star Vin Diesel. His latest, “The Last Witch Hunter,” debuted in fourth place, grossing $10.8 mil in 3,082 theaters. That's his second-worst wide release ever, after “Babylon A.D.” opened to $9.4 in 3,425 theaters in 2008. Both movies got slammed by the critics (6% for A.D., 15% for TLWH) but you could say that about most of Diesel's movies.
But that's not really the story, either.
Here's the story. Two movies debuted in more than 2,000 theaters and did so poorly they ranked 4th and 5th all-time in terms of worst per-theater openings for wide releases.
The stinkier is “Jem and the Holograms,” which is about, I guess, this smalltown girl that totally uploads a music video on YouTube and becomes famous? But then they like redo her look and her personality and her name and her makeup? Until she doesn't know who she is anymore? Anyway, that thing debuted in 15th place, grossing $1.3 million in 2,413 theaters, for a per-theater average of $570. Fourth worst ever.
The movie in fifth place did a little better, earning $1.4 million in 2,012 theaters, for a per-theater average of $731, but the shocker there is the movie's lineage. “Jem” was written by no one I've heard of, directed by no one I've heard of, and stars no one I've heard of, while “Rock the Kasbah” is a Barry Levinson comedy starring Bill Murray, Bruce Willis and Kate Hudson, among others. And no one went.
Here's the top 10 in per-theater average worsties:
|1||Oogieloves In The BIG Balloon Adventure *||$443,901||2,160||$206||Aug. 2012|
|2||Delgo **||$511,920||2,160||$237||Dec. 2008|
|3||Saw 10th Anniversary ***||$650,051||2,063||$315||Oct. 2014|
|4||Jem and the Holograms||$1,375,320||2,413||$570||Oct. 2015|
|5||Rock The Kasbah||$1,470,592||2,012||$731||Oct. 2015 #|
|6||We Are Your Friends||$1,767,308||2,333||$758||Aug. 2015 ##|
|7||Major League: Back to the Minors||$2,087,011||2,322||$899||Apr. 1998|
|8||The Real Cancun||$2,108,796||2,261||$932||Apr. 2003|
|9||The Adventures of Pluto Nash||$2,182,900||2,320||$940||Aug. 2002|
|10||The Rocker||$2,636,048||2,784||$947||Aug. 2008|
*Yes, something that dares call itself “Oogieloves” deserves this fate.
** I blogged about this bomb back then.
*** Does a re-release really count? Particularly of an Eli Roth film?
# Never open in October.
## Never open in August.
This weekend, Patricia and I saw “The Martian,” which is recommended.
The Last Witch Hunter is sadly not the last Vin Diesel.