Before the Show at Pacific Place No. 9 for 'Furious 7'
I haven't done a “Before the Show” since Sept. 2009 but thought I'd trot one out again since I began taking notes before “Furious 7” Saturday afternoon. Blame “Friday,” or its 20th anniversary release, which semi-shocked me enough to reach for the notepad. Of all movies, “Friday,” starring Ice Cube and Chris Tucker, gets a 20th anniversary re-release? “Billy Madison” and “The Brady Bunch Movie” must feel slighted.
Quick note to AMC: Please make your PSAs shorter. We get the message without the round cows.
Not that the mucky-mucks are in a realm to pay attention. From AMC's Wikipedia's page:
AMC Theatres (often referred to as just AMC and previously known as AMC Cinemas) is an American movie theater chain owned and operated by AMC Entertainment Inc., which is itself owned by AMC Entertainment Holdings, Inc., a majority-owned subsidiary of Chinese conglomerate Dalian Wanda Group.
I saw eight trailers, which is about four too many. Thoughts:
- “Southpaw,” the Jake Gyllenhaal boxer flick. Light heavyweight champ, wife (Rachel McAdams) wants him to retire for their young daughter. Instead, the No. 1 contender trashtalks him into a fight, gun goes off, wifey dies. Jake's boxing license is then revoked, daughter is taken by child custody services. It's like two 1910s melodramas in one. Of course he climbs his way back. He needs to 1) reclaim his daughter's love and 2) regain his title. Wish it were just the first. Forrest Whitaker, taking the Morgan Freeman role, has a good line in this regard: “Gotta let her hate you,” he says, “so she can get better.” July 31. 60% chance it's good.
- “Avengers: Age of Ultron.” I like the notion that what we've created to make us safe comes back to haunt us. But what's missing is that “We have a Hulk” wit the first movie's trailers had. Saving it for the film? Please, God. Or Whedon. May 1. 49% chance it's good.
- “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2”: I like it when it's parodying your typical action movie, but with Kevin James' roly-poly bod rather than, say, the Rock's ridiculous version. But the rest looks lowest-common denominator. I didn't see the first, doubt I'll see this one. Sometime in April. 15% chance it's good.
- “Poltergeist”: After “The Way Way Back” I'll see Sam Rockwell in almost anything; and it's Sam Raimi, who can normally do horror even if he killed the first Spider-Man franchise with “Spider-Man 3.” And “They already know what scares you” is a good line. The original scared me back in '82. But do we want to encourage this? Reboots and yadda-yaddas? May 22. 51% chance it's good.
- “San Andreas”: Another reboot of a kind but basically more apocalyptic porn. Irwin Allen gave us “Earthquake” in 1974 so now we get the CGI version of California crumbling—complete with The Rock and impossible rescues of Carla Gugino. At least Paul Giamatti's around to say smartish things. May 29. 20% chance it'll be good.
- “Mission: Impossible: Rogue Nation”: First, Tom Cruise is too old for that haircut. Second, do people still want to see him—particularly after “Going Clear” aired on HBO? But they'll want to see that stunt with the plane. The girl, btw (Rebecca Ferguson), does nothing for me. Maybe I'm must not interested in any girl who's interested in that boy. July 31. 20%. But I think I'd rather see the apocalyptic porn. I think.
- “Ted 2”: Amanda Seyfried plays a lawyer. Sure. June 26. 33%.
- “Straight Outta Compton”: I hadn't even heard of this, but I guess music biopics, particularly of black artists, are on the rise, so why not NWA? The dude they got for Ice Cube seems pretty spot-on. It's Ice Cube's year, isn't it? 20th anniversary for “Friday” and this. August 14. 55% chance it's good.
The trailers lasted approximately 25 minutes. Tack it onto a 137-minute runtime of “Furious 7” and it's “Schindler's List” length.
People at Pacific Place were pleasant, btw, including the enthusiastic box-office dude. Theater itself was nearly empty for a 12:30 show.