Answering Your Search-Engine Questions
The following are search-engine questions that brought readers to my site but which my site didn't answer. I try to make up for that deficit:
- “first alien invasion movie” led to my post on the history of alien invasion movies , but the answer isn't there. However, if you go to IMDb.com, do a keyword search of “alien invasion,” limit your answers to “movies,” and sort chronologically, you get ... “Mars Attacks the World” (1938), starring Buster Crabbe as Flash Gordon. Apparently it was a re-edited serial. Caveat: It seems more outer space adventure than Earth space adventure. I wouldn't go Daily Double on it just yet.
- “who played cyrils dad in breaking away” led our hapless visitor to my “Breaking Away” review, but I don't mention who played Cyril's dad. Because while the character is referenced several times—by both Cyril (Daniel J. Stern) and Dave's dad (Paul Dooley)—we never see him, just as we never see Mike's dad or Moocher's parents. The only parents we see in the movie are Dave's parents. Otherwise it's “Peanuts” territory. Wuh-wa, wuh-wa-wa-wa. In other words: No one played Cyril's dad.
- “who was the secretary in the 1966 Batman movie?” I assume, from my own “Batman (1966)” review, the secretary to Admiral Fangschliester, with whom he is playing tiddlywinks? Immediate thought: Why not just look on IMDb.com? Answer? It's not there. But the scene is on YouTube. And an answer is on the “Batman” wikia: Linda Beatty. Except then you get this discussion forum, which disputes the Linda Beatty claim. So I'm back where I started. Holy misinformation, Batman! Holy trivialities! Holy “C'mon guys, quit drooling, she's gotta be 65 now”...
- “what is the most quoted movie” is frequently asked and frequently lands visitors on my article about my most quoted movie lines. Which of course is no help. But there is no help. You can guess all day long—“Casablanca” or “The Godfather” or “Star Wars” or “Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery”—but there's no way to measure this.
- “intercourse between two women”: Not really a question but a hope ... for which, again, I'm no help. Somehow that poor person wound up here. Not, I'm sure, what he (or she) was looking for.
- “looking for a black man”: Same deal. Google needs help with its prepositions, doesn't it? Big difference between “looking for a black man,” and “Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Black Man.” If only there were some out-of-work English majors Google could hire...
- “what is pork chop money?” always leads people to my review of “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.” Here's the answer: It's money with which to buy pork chops. The bigger point: It's offensive.
- “why the yankees suck”: Well, I guess I do answer that.
Admiral's secretary, and mystery actress, from the 1966 “Batman.”
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