How is Sean Baker like Felix Unger? “Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar.”

This will make a good future trivia question: Who won the most Oscars for one film in one night?

My nephews and I were texting each other thoughts on who's come closest in the past. Billy Wilder got three for “The Apartment” in 1960 (picture, director, writer). Francis Ford Coppola got those three again, plus he picked up the supporting actor Oscar for Robert De Niro, not in attendance, for “The Godfather Part II” in 1974, so in a way that was four. Plus his father got an Oscar for the soundtrack while his sister was nominated for supporting. It was a true family affair. The Coens had a real shot at it with “No Country for Old Men,” winning the same three but losing editing to ... wait for it ... “The Bourne Ultimatum.” Mais bien sur.

But the threepeat is mostly a recent phenomenon. Inarritu (whose name I can never spell right) won three for “Birdman,” while Bong Joon-ho won three for “Parasite.” In the studio system, it was more assembly line. One hat. You did your job and moved on. Unless you were a Chaplin or Welles. And those guys didn't grow on trees.

Sean Baker's quartet of Oscars last night (picture, directing, writing, editing) is a testament to true independent filmmaking because he did it all. There was hardly even a co. A couple of co-producers for best film, but it was just him for the others. There's always been a lot of back and forth about the auteur theory but we're getting closer to the moment when there's just one guy. Maybe in the future Baker will act all the parts, too. He'll be a novel unto himself.

It was just Patricia and I last night (she was sick), and mostly the night went as expected. Kieran Culkin and Zoe Saldana won all the lead-up supportings (SAG, BAFTA) and won the Oscar. PGA and DGA went to “Anora” and Baker and ditto. The surprises were the leads. I guess Adrien Brody was favored a little but I thought Timothee Chalamet (another name I keep screwing up) had some momentum after SAG. Not enough. Brody then set the record for the longest Oscar acceptance ever, 5:31, beating Greer Garson by a second. The bigger surprise was 25-year-old Mikey Madison (“Anora”) winning over supposed sentimental favorite and 62-year-old Demi Moore. I'm glad. I didn't like “The Substance” and didn't like Demi's narrative about being “just” a popcorn actress and boo-hoo me. That said, last night's lead gender split—the older actor winning and the younger actress winning—is so Oscar. But I guess if I had a vote, I would've voted older for both: Ralph Fiennes for “Conclave” and Fernanda Torres for “I'm Still Here.” 

All in all, not a bad night in this annus horriblis. My favorite movie of 2024, “Flow,” won best animated feature, Conan O'Brien made a fun, goofy host (I hope he repeats), Halle Berry showed up looking amazing as ever to intro a throwback song-and-dance number for James Bond movies. It went on too long and featured singers I'd never heard of, but that was fun, too. Morgan Freeman gave a heartfelt tribute to Gene Hackman, who died just last week. No one slapped anyone. No incorrect envelopes were given.

Conan had the line of the night. “'Anora' is having a good night,” he said early on. “Two wins already. I guess Americans are excited to see somebody finally stand up to a powerful Russian.”

Amen.