erik lundegaard

Friday October 22, 2010

39 More Reasons Why the Yankees Suck

I'm hoping around 8:30 tonight, Pacific Time, the Texas Rangers will add their name to the following list:

  • Seattle Mariners
  • Cleveland Indians
  • Arizona Diamondbacks
  • Anaheim Angels
  • Florida Marlins
  • Boston Red Sox
  • Anaheim Angels
  • Detroit Tigers
  • Cleveland Indians

These are the teams, the Legion of Honor, the Justice League, who have eliminated the New York Yankees from postseason contention since 1995. No team has done it since midges attacked Joba Chamberlain during the calm of a Cleveland evening three years ago (oh, that was fun!), because 1) in 2008 the Yankees didn't make the postseason, and 2) last year they won it all. After Game 4, I was hoping Texas would crush the Yankees in New Yankee Stadium, which would‘ve been sweet, a la Boston in ’04, and we could‘ve seen Yankee fans, so-called, streaming out of their $1 billion stadium like rats from a sinking ship for the third night in a row. But... not to be. We’ll see what the next two days brings. If it doesn't bring victory tonight it brings Cliff Lee tomorrow. It‘ll also bring Andy Pettite, who, though his name means “small,” tends to play big in October.

I’m currently adding to my list of Reasons Why the Yankees Suck, which was written nearly 10 years ago and includes 10-year-old gripes, but haven't decided yet whether to update the original or write a whole new report. In the meantime, here are some of the contenders. Feel free to add your own in the comments field:

  1. Killing the hopes of Twins fans everywhere (2009, 2008, 2004, 2003)
  2. Killing the hopes of Mariners fans everywhere (2001, 2000)
  3. Killing the hopes of Rangers fans everywhere (1999, 1998, 1996)
  4. Killing the hopes of Royals fans everywhere (1978, 1977, 1976)
  5. Killing the hopes of Dodgers fans everywhere (1978, 1977, 1956, 1953, 1952, 1949, 1947, 1941)
  6. “He‘ll look good next year in pinstripes.”
  7. A-Rod—swatting a baseball.
  8. Derek Jeter—“hit by pitch.”
  9. Robinson Cano—“hitting a homerun” (2010).
  10. Derek Jeter—“hitting a homerun” (1996)
  11. Yet another article about where Jeffrey Maier is now.
  12. GMS patches
  13. That Steinbrenner monument—dwarfing the monuments of Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio and Mantle.
  14. “Win one for the Boss.”
  15. 1998: The last year the Yankees didn’t have the highest payroll in baseball. (They were second to the Orioles).
  16. That monthly New York Times column wondering when the lastest small market superstar (Mauer, Greinke, Lee) will become a Yankee.
  17. “Got rings?”
  18. Ken Burns interviewing no Pirates or Pirates fans, only Yankees and Yankees fans, about the Pirates' thrilling, come-from-behind victory over the Yankees in the 1960 World Series.
  19. Ken Burns interviewing no Diamondbacks or Diamondbacks fans, only Yankees and Yankees fans, about the Diamondbacks' thrilling, come-from-behind victory over the Yankees in the 2001 World Series.
  20. Roger Clemens' 15-strikeout, one-hit performance against the Seattle Mariners in Game 4 of 2000 ALCS.
  21. Manager Joe Torre saying of Clemens' performance, “It was total dominance.”
  22. Clemens' total dominance revealed to be steroid-enhanced.
  23. David Cone complaining about light-throwing Jamie Moyer's “brushback pitches” against Paul O‘Neill.
  24. David Cone complaining about Edgar Martinez swinging at 3-0 pitches “when they’re up by about 10 runs”...when in fact they were up by 4.
  25. Tom Veducci attributing this “Speech of Lies” to turning the Yankees' 1998 season around.
  26. Lance Berkman striking out on a fastball down the middle in Game 2 of the 2010 ALDS.
  27. The pitch being called a ball.
  28. Berkman hitting a double on the next pitch.
  29. The Yankees in the postseason 15 of the 16 years since 1995.
  30. This success attributed to keeping together a core group of players—Jeter, Rivera, Pettite, Posada—unlike other, lesser teams, who let their best players go.
  31. The Yankees keeping together this core group of players only because they don't have to worry about the Yankees taking them away.
  32. Joe Posnanski: “The Yankees are not a big-market team. They DWARF big-market teams.” (More here.)
  33. Jim Caple: “We don't need another World Series with a team so rich and smug that the New York mayor announced two weeks ago that he already was planning its world championship parade route.” (More here.)
  34. The fact that any Yankee postseason victory by definition removes magic from the world.
  35. A payroll $45 million higher than any other team in Major League Baseball (2010).
  36. A payroll $52 million higher than any other team in Major League Baseball (2009).
  37. A payroll $72 million higher than any other team in Major League Baseball (2008).
  38. A payroll $85 million higher than any other team in Major League Baseball (2005).
  39. “I'm tired of all this bitching about the Yankees buying championships.”
Posted at 08:10 AM on Friday October 22, 2010 in category Yankees Suck  
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