erik lundegaard

39 More Reasons Why the Yankees Suck

I'm hoping around 8:30 tonight, Pacific Time, the Texas Rangers will add their name to the following list:

  • Seattle Mariners
  • Cleveland Indians
  • Arizona Diamondbacks
  • Anaheim Angels
  • Florida Marlins
  • Boston Red Sox
  • Anaheim Angels
  • Detroit Tigers
  • Cleveland Indians

These are the teams, the Legion of Honor, the Justice League, who have eliminated the New York Yankees from postseason contention since 1995. No team has done it since midges attacked Joba Chamberlain during the calm of a Cleveland evening three years ago (oh, that was fun!), because 1) in 2008 the Yankees didn't make the postseason, and 2) last year they won it all. After Game 4, I was hoping Texas would crush the Yankees in New Yankee Stadium, which would‘ve been sweet, a la Boston in ’04, and we could‘ve seen Yankee fans, so-called, streaming out of their $1 billion stadium like rats from a sinking ship for the third night in a row. But... not to be. We’ll see what the next two days brings. If it doesn't bring victory tonight it brings Cliff Lee tomorrow. It‘ll also bring Andy Pettite, who, though his name means “small,” tends to play big in October.

I’m currently adding to my list of Reasons Why the Yankees Suck, which was written nearly 10 years ago and includes 10-year-old gripes, but haven't decided yet whether to update the original or write a whole new report. In the meantime, here are some of the contenders. Feel free to add your own in the comments field:

  1. Killing the hopes of Twins fans everywhere (2009, 2008, 2004, 2003)
  2. Killing the hopes of Mariners fans everywhere (2001, 2000)
  3. Killing the hopes of Rangers fans everywhere (1999, 1998, 1996)
  4. Killing the hopes of Royals fans everywhere (1978, 1977, 1976)
  5. Killing the hopes of Dodgers fans everywhere (1978, 1977, 1956, 1953, 1952, 1949, 1947, 1941)
  6. “He‘ll look good next year in pinstripes.”
  7. A-Rod—swatting a baseball.
  8. Derek Jeter—“hit by pitch.”
  9. Robinson Cano—“hitting a homerun” (2010).
  10. Derek Jeter—“hitting a homerun” (1996)
  11. Yet another article about where Jeffrey Maier is now.
  12. GMS patches
  13. That Steinbrenner monument—dwarfing the monuments of Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio and Mantle.
  14. “Win one for the Boss.”
  15. 1998: The last year the Yankees didn’t have the highest payroll in baseball. (They were second to the Orioles).
  16. That monthly New York Times column wondering when the lastest small market superstar (Mauer, Greinke, Lee) will become a Yankee.
  17. “Got rings?”
  18. Ken Burns interviewing no Pirates or Pirates fans, only Yankees and Yankees fans, about the Pirates' thrilling, come-from-behind victory over the Yankees in the 1960 World Series.
  19. Ken Burns interviewing no Diamondbacks or Diamondbacks fans, only Yankees and Yankees fans, about the Diamondbacks' thrilling, come-from-behind victory over the Yankees in the 2001 World Series.
  20. Roger Clemens' 15-strikeout, one-hit performance against the Seattle Mariners in Game 4 of 2000 ALCS.
  21. Manager Joe Torre saying of Clemens' performance, “It was total dominance.”
  22. Clemens' total dominance revealed to be steroid-enhanced.
  23. David Cone complaining about light-throwing Jamie Moyer's “brushback pitches” against Paul O‘Neill.
  24. David Cone complaining about Edgar Martinez swinging at 3-0 pitches “when they’re up by about 10 runs”...when in fact they were up by 4.
  25. Tom Veducci attributing this “Speech of Lies” to turning the Yankees' 1998 season around.
  26. Lance Berkman striking out on a fastball down the middle in Game 2 of the 2010 ALDS.
  27. The pitch being called a ball.
  28. Berkman hitting a double on the next pitch.
  29. The Yankees in the postseason 15 of the 16 years since 1995.
  30. This success attributed to keeping together a core group of players—Jeter, Rivera, Pettite, Posada—unlike other, lesser teams, who let their best players go.
  31. The Yankees keeping together this core group of players only because they don't have to worry about the Yankees taking them away.
  32. Joe Posnanski: “The Yankees are not a big-market team. They DWARF big-market teams.” (More here.)
  33. Jim Caple: “We don't need another World Series with a team so rich and smug that the New York mayor announced two weeks ago that he already was planning its world championship parade route.” (More here.)
  34. The fact that any Yankee postseason victory by definition removes magic from the world.
  35. A payroll $45 million higher than any other team in Major League Baseball (2010).
  36. A payroll $52 million higher than any other team in Major League Baseball (2009).
  37. A payroll $72 million higher than any other team in Major League Baseball (2008).
  38. A payroll $85 million higher than any other team in Major League Baseball (2005).
  39. “I'm tired of all this bitching about the Yankees buying championships.”
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Posted at 08:10 AM on Fri. Oct 22, 2010 in category Yankees Suck  


Jerry Grillo wrote:

While my attitude toward the Yankees is more 'meh' as opposed to hatred (hey, my dad was a Yankees fan who saw Gehrig play, while I grew up a Braves fan who actually paid to watch Rowland Office roam the Atlanta outfield), I have to add something here that stands out as a reason to hate: Clemens throwing the shattered broken bat at Mike Piazza. Dude was so hepped up on goofballs he actually threw a damn bat at the baserunner. What the hell?

Comment posted on Fri. Oct 22, 2010 at 08:29 AM

Erik wrote:

Comment posted on Fri. Oct 22, 2010 at 08:31 AM

Jerry Grillo wrote:

Rowland Office: Cardboard God. That'll make up for his .200-something batting average and abnormally long face and comic book name.

Comment posted on Fri. Oct 22, 2010 at 12:02 PM

Erik wrote:

40. They unlevel the playing field. (This may be most important reason why they suck.)

41. In baseball, you root for the underdog; and the Yankees are never the underdog.

42. “When the Yankees lose, it is always a bit of news because as a general condition they are the once-and-future champions.” — George Vescey

43. They are the evil empire.

44. Even when the miraculous happens—even when a young jedi is found in whom the Force is strong, and the rebels band together with their little x-wing fighters and attack the Death Star, and against all odds, and with a bit of luck, the young jedi drops the payload at exactly the right moment to blow up the damned thing, so that in THIS movie the rebels win—well, in the next movie they're rebuilding the damned thing, aren't they?

45. Even the best jedis are tempted by the dark side. (We're looking at you, Cliff Lee.)

Comment posted on Sat. Oct 23, 2010 at 09:23 AM

Erik wrote:

“Spending for talent is what the Yankees do, and they should never apologize for it.” — Tyler Kepner in The New York Times, Oct. 23, 2010

Comment posted on Mon. Oct 25, 2010 at 09:07 AM

RC wrote:

101 - Hediki Urubu
102 - Jason Gimbie
103 - That retarded “car” used to take the Yankees to bat in the 1978 World Series.

Comment posted on Mon. Sep 08, 2014 at 03:14 AM
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