Jordy's Reviews: Skyfall (2012)
My 11-year-old nephew, Jordy, disagreed with my review of “Skyfall.” Here's his take.
When I think about James Bond, I think guns, girls and awesome. Not emotional. In Skyfall, we get guns, awesome, emotional, but no main girl that he actually hooks up with for a little bit. Also, this isn’t James Bond’s story to tell. This is about M, and her mistakes, and what she did. It’s a revenge plot done so well, almost nobody could hate it.
The movie opens with Bond on a mission to get a hard-drive with a list of names of secret agents when he gets shot off a train. Then we go into the intro with no naked girls swimming in the background. That’s the first sign that this movie is different. By the way, compliments to the intro. In James Bond movies, they open with a very popular artist’s song with the title in it over a great animation. In Skyfall, the artist is ADELE, whom I’ve always liked, despite being more of a target for girls. She creates a great song that matches the tone of the movie. After this, without James Bond and the missing hard-drive, everything goes to hell for MI6. The headquarters gets attacked, MI6 gets hacked, and everything messes up. Without Bond, MI6 is nothing. Then Bond returns from the dead, because he’s James Bond, and because you can’t have a James Bond movie without James Bond. From here on out, it’s a mission to stop the person who’s doing this.
Along the way, he meets girls who don’t last. They come and go, and it’s probably because they don’t have any chemistry. Daniel Craig is great as James Bond. This isn’t everything’s-got-to-be-funny James Bond. This is gritty, tough, badass James Bond with a good sense of humor. There are some funny with Bond. Judi Dench is also good. However, it is Javier Bardem as the villain who steals the show. He is a smart, sinister, and kind of scary. Daniel Craig’s got his first amazing villain. (He had good ones before, just not amazing ones.)
Bardem’s character opens with a very scary story about how he got rats to eat each other, and then released those rats to kill all the other ones. It’s very well-written. Skyfall is written very well. From the conversations to the kill quotes, it’s all smart and original. Also, the action scenes are spectacular, especially the final action scene, in which Bond does awesome things, but the things he does make sense. I could go on with how amazing this movie is, but how about something bad about it? There are some things that nobody will understand until later in the movie. It’s pretty stupid. It’s foreshadowing done badly. Unfortunately, I’m a spoiler-free reviewer, so I can’t use it, but it doesn’t change the fact that this movie is amazing. I don’t understand how someone who will not be named (Uncle Erik) could not like it. Don’t even go to his review without knowing that this movie is amazing.
~Muschler. Jordan Muschler.
Okay For 14+
(Hi, everyone, I can’t thank you enough for all the suggestions and feedback you’ve given me. And now, I need another favor. If you live in the Minneapolis metro area, I would really appreciate you coming to the Riverview theatre November 29th, for I am judging in a film festival about Minnesota neighborhoods. All the money raised goes into a scholarship at Minneapolis Community and Technical College, and I would really appreciate you coming. It starts at 5:30 PM, and if you come I will review anything you want me to review, within the limits of my reviewing abilities—like no M-rated games or R-rated movies. Thank you for reading this. Next review: Frankenweenie)
Jordan Muschler wrote:
Comment posted on Wed. Nov 21, 2012 at 06:16 PM
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