What Brings You Here posts

Friday March 22, 2013

The Answer Man Answers Your Movie Questions

People come to this site for all kinds of reasons—mostly to grab a sliver of information and run—but it's often intriguing when they posit their search query, in Google or Bing or Yahoo, in the form of a question. What don't people get about the movies? What do they really, really need to know about the movie they just saw?

Here are some of those questions.

Why did Dr. King Schultz kill Calvin Candie?
I argue it's because he was usurped, for maybe for the first time in his life, in the storyteller role. It's the source of his power and he didn't like losing the source of his power. But QT added the memory of the slave being torn apart by dogs and thus added a moral rationale for the murder. A mistake, if you ask me. But not if you ask the Academy.

How did Lisbeth survive being buried alive?
She's Lisbeth. What? She's gonna die?

What were M's last words to Bond in Skyfall?
No idea. But everybody wants to know this. I get this query several times a day. Feel slightly guilty that my review doesn't answer it. Slightly.

What was wispered [sic] to Nikki on [sic] Silver Linins [sic] Playbook?
I think we're just supposed to assume what's said, based on what happens afterward. If this were 10 years ago, I guess I'd be getting search queries about what Bill Murray whispered to Scarlett Johansson in “Lost in Translation.” Just go with it, kids. Use your imagination.

Why does Sam say she loves bulimia?
She doesn't. In “Perks of Being a Wallflower,” Sam (Emma Watson) says she's a bulemicist. She's being clever and funny and charming. As if being Emma Watson wasn't enough.

Why Chasing Ice is a false documentary.
Not in the form of a question, dude. In fact, it appears to be buttressing an already-formed opinion. Sad. We should be teaching this in fucking kindergarten already. The goal is to look at the evidence and come to a conclusion, not have a conclusion and search for the evidence to back that up. Please. 

Who is the French girl at the end of Midnight in Paris?
Léa Seydoux. Here's a tumblr dedicated to her. She's really not as alone and unattached as she appears in the movie. She's not vulnerable. This is a fantasy. She's a world-famous model and actress. You have no shot, chief.

Lea Seydoux in "Midnight in Paris"

Léa Seydoux at the end of “Midnight in Paris.” What a cute open French girl who just happens to be unattached!

Posted at 02:22 PM on Friday March 22, 2013 in category What Brings You Here   |   Permalink  

Monday March 05, 2012

Movie Questions that Bring You Here

I'm always fascinated by the questions that people type into Google or Bing or ... OK, mostly Google, and that bring them here. A sample, with answers.

Is there a real storm at the end of “Take Shelter”? Is it the likes of which none of us have ever seen?

Posted at 03:42 PM on Monday March 05, 2012 in category What Brings You Here   |   Permalink  

Saturday October 01, 2011

What Brings You Here

Movie-related search-engine questions that brought (some very confused) people here ...

Scene from the Korean film, "The Housemaid" (2010)
“The Housemaid”: I call its end “a dreamy sequence right out of David Lynch.” No wonder folks are confused.

Posted at 07:56 AM on Saturday October 01, 2011 in category What Brings You Here   |   Permalink  

Thursday September 01, 2011

What Brings You Here

  • we must destroy, but productively led to the review of this great French documentary.
  • bondage fixation led to the review of this recent comic-book documentary. Not, I'm sure, what the dude (or dudette) was looking for.
  • science fiction movie with phrase “bonk,bonk on the head” took the reader to this movie review, which is more horror than science fiction, but in which I do reference that phrase. But it comes from original “Star Trek,” not a movie.
  • did hitler have siffles led to this post, which is all about the Seattle International Film Festival (SIFF). I used SIFFles as a bad pun for sniffles, I guess. The reader meant “syphilis,” I assume.
  • joel schumacher batman films are good in a camp way led to this much-read article on the history of Batman, where I agree on “camp” but not “good.”
  • entourage prediction took the reader to this “Entourage” prediction .... from three years ago. Which didn't pan out.
  • James M. McCallum = this movie review.
  • metrodome moments = this farewell post.
  • фирма которая делает кепки ny led to this article. Perhaps the Russians are interested in buying?

Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, Janice Rand and Miri in the first-season, original series "Star Trek" episode, "Miri"

(L to R) Miri, Janice Rand, Dr. McCoy and Capt. Kirk in the first-season “Star Trek” episode “Miri.” Before the disease and the jealousy and the Bonk Bonk on the head.

Posted at 06:48 AM on Thursday September 01, 2011 in category What Brings You Here   |   Permalink  

Wednesday June 29, 2011

Answering Your Search-Engine Questions

The following are search-engine questions that brought readers to my site but which my site didn't answer. I try to make up for that deficit:

  • “first alien invasion movie” led to my post on the history of alien invasion movies, but the answer isn't there. However, if you go to IMDb.com, do a keyword search of “alien invasion,” limit your answers to “movies,” and sort chronologically, you get ... “Mars Attacks the World” (1938), starring Buster Crabbe as Flash Gordon. Apparently it was a re-edited serial. Caveat: It seems more outer space adventure than Earth space adventure. I wouldn't go Daily Double on it just yet.
  • “who played cyrils dad in breaking away” led our hapless visitor to my “Breaking Away” review, but I don't mention who played Cyril's dad. Because while the character is referenced several times—by both Cyril (Daniel J. Stern) and Dave's dad (Paul Dooley)—we never see him, just as we never see Mike's dad or Moocher's parents. The only parents we see in the movie are Dave's parents. Otherwise it's “Peanuts” territory. Wuh-wa, wuh-wa-wa-wa. In other words: No one played Cyril's dad.
  • “who was the secretary in the 1966 Batman movie?” I assume, from my own “Batman (1966)” review, the secretary to Admiral Fangschliester, with whom he is playing tiddlywinks? Immediate thought: Why not just look on IMDb.com? Answer? It's not there. But the scene is on YouTube. And an answer is on the “Batman” wikia: Linda Beatty. Except then you get this discussion forum, which disputes the Linda Beatty claim. So I'm back where I started. Holy misinformation, Batman! Holy trivialities! Holy “C'mon guys, quit drooling, she's gotta be 65 now”...
  • “what is the most quoted movie” is frequently asked and frequently lands visitors on my article about my most quoted movie lines. Which of course is no help. But there is no help. You can guess all day long—“Casablanca” or “The Godfather” or “Star Wars” or “Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery”—but there's no way to measure this.
  • “intercourse between two women”: Not really a question but a hope ... for which, again, I'm no help. Somehow that poor person wound up here. Not, I'm sure, what he (or she) was looking for.
  • “looking for a black man”: Same deal. Google needs help with its prepositions, doesn't it? Big difference between “looking for a black man,” and “Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Black Man.” If only there were some out-of-work English majors Google could hire...
  • “what is pork chop money?”always leads people to my review of “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.”  Here's the answer: It's money with which to buy pork chops. The bigger point: It's offensive.
  • “why the yankees suck”: Well, I guess I do answer that.

The twiddlywink-playing secetrary to Admiral Fangschliester in the 1966 movie "Batman"

Admiral's secretary, and mystery actress, from the 1966 “Batman.”

Posted at 06:17 AM on Wednesday June 29, 2011 in category What Brings You Here   |   Permalink  

Wednesday May 11, 2011

What Brings You Here

The questions:

The statements:

The long quotes:

Batman, Robin and crook, in the "Bat's Cave," in the 1943 serial "Batman"

“The cheaper the crook, the gaudier the patter.” Dude might have been looking for this.

Posted at 06:46 AM on Wednesday May 11, 2011 in category What Brings You Here   |   Permalink  

Monday April 25, 2011

What Brings You Here

Here are some of the searches that landed readers here, along with links to their landing pages.

Some came speaking foreign tongues...

Some came with questions...

...or to test theories...

...or with quotes:

One even quoted me:

Some just listed things:

Others were interested in comparing and contrasting:

Some, surely, didn't find what they were looking for...

Some, despite misspellings, did:

The "U dick" girl from "The Social Network"

You'd think she would've been listed as the “u dick” girl in the credits. Nope. Sorry, bro.

Posted at 06:35 AM on Monday April 25, 2011 in category What Brings You Here   |   Permalink  

Sunday April 17, 2011

What Brings You Here

Here are some of the searches that landed readers here, along with where it landed them. So much people want to know...

The "I sell tallises" kid from Woody Allen's "Annie Hall"

The “I sell tallises” boy.

Posted at 10:17 AM on Sunday April 17, 2011 in category What Brings You Here   |   Permalink  

Wednesday March 30, 2011

What Brings You Here

Here are some of the searches that landed readers here, along with where it landed them. It's all kind of fascinating to me. So many questions people have. So few answers I give...

Posted at 09:42 AM on Wednesday March 30, 2011 in category What Brings You Here   |   Permalink  

Wednesday February 09, 2011

What Brings You Here

I'm always fascinated by the searches that bring visitors to my site. I'm not sure if it's kosher, if it violates some rule of the Internet or not, but here are some recent examples of searches—with links to the pages it led them ...

Here's to finding what you're looking for.

Posted at 04:52 PM on Wednesday February 09, 2011 in category What Brings You Here   |   Permalink  

All previous entries