Jordy's Reviews postsThursday January 06, 2011
Jordy's Reviews: “Stand By Me” (1986)
Another review by my nine-year-old, ratings-conscious nephew Jordy...
“Stand By Me” is a film that is by Rob Reiner, a filmmaker who has made some great movies like “This Is Spinal Tap,” “When Harry Met Sally,” and much more. It is based off a short story by Stephen King called “The Body” (no wonder they changed the title; it sounds like a zombie book) and “Stand By Me” is the only movie where I think that the people that gave the movie the rating might have turned into a dull boy. “R”? What? Although I have to admit, it is quite inappropriate to see kids swear and smoke.
But “Stand By Me” is a great Rob Reiner movie because of the characters. It starts out with a guy sitting in a car with a newspaper that says that a man was stabbed by a knife and died. Then the guy, who starts narrating, says the first time he ever saw a dead body was on an adventure with his friends. So basically the whole plot is searching for a dead body.
The kids are all people who do bad things, yet you love these characters somehow, although it’s probably because they all stick out for each other. They also are funny sometimes. For example, one kid tells a story called “Lardass And The Pie-Eating Contest”, which has all the kid gags, yet it is fun for adults too. “Stand By Me” has a vast landscape that goes along with the movie the whole time, and some camera shots truly are some of the best that I’ve seen. For example, a shot of them walking with the sun setting in the background is beautiful. The actors are all great, and they manage to pull off roles as complex characters, while putting emotion into the sadness of the two main characters. I love how they all fool around with each other; they can be mean to each other, but they always stick out for each other, too. Because of that, you can tell they have a really good friendship. Also, even though they are on a dangerous journey (the dead body was presumably hit by a train), with the chance of getting hit by a train and all, they say that they are having a great time, which can tell you that they enjoy each other’s company, and that is another way to tell they have a great friendship.
That’s one of the movies main themes: friendship. It definitely is a powerful thing, that’s for sure. The adventure scenes are spectacular, including a scene where they have to run from the train. In fact, the only thing I don’t like about the movie is that sometimes it doesn’t make sense, although it’s so minor, you don’t care. (This is supposed to be a real story in the movie, you know!) In the ending, the narrator says that his best friend was the one who was stabbed by the knife, and that even though the friends are separate, he never had better friends then the ones on that adventure. Once you turn off the movie, you get a very powerful feeling: sympathy. You feel sympathetic for some of the characters, and that’s something only a great movie can do. Rob Reiner, well done: you’ve created a masterpiece.
Okay For: 13+
Jordan Muschler, 2011
Jordy's Review: “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World” (2010)
Another must-read movie review by my nine-year-old nephew Jordy. “Love his lede,” his mother (my sister), wrote to me...
Even though my uncle wrote a bad review of “Scott Pilgrim,” I kind of wanted to see it because in a magazine called Nintendo Power, they said that it parodied video games. Now that I have seen it, I call it one of my favorite movies of the year. This movie is based on a comic series (bet you did not see that one coming), which I have never read, but that’s beside the point. When you’re making something like a movie based off comics, you would usually think it would be animated, but this is not animated, and when you do something like that, you would probably think it would suck, but as I already said (well, not exactly, but you can gather up evidence that I like it), it does not suck. Not at all. In fact, I think it will get nominated for some Oscars.
For starters, it is directed by Edgar Wright, who made “Shaun Of The Dead,” which got really good reviews, and “Hot Fuzz,” which also got really good reviews. If you have not seen the movie yet, here’s what it’s about: Scott Pilgrim must defeat his new girlfriend’s seven evil-ex boyfriends in order to win her heart.
I’m done explaining the plot, by the way. And if you were wondering which Oscars, the most obvious answer is Visual Effects. Seriously, they rock. They make giant monsters using only their instruments, make lightning bolts when they’re playing the guitar, and even make the classic 1-Ups float in thin air. However, the best Visual Effects are the comic references. Since this movie is based off a comic book, they made a comic book, because in the fight scenes, they make the “Smack,” “Bam,” “Whack,” and more float in thin air. These are really impressive and only add to the movie’s greatness.
This movie is also very funny, although some of the funny parts have to do with something inappropriate. This movie is also kind of fast. The whole cast is excellent, and do well with their funny lines. If you let your kid see this, they’ll probably like it because they’ll think that the movie is awesome with its amazing visuals, but adults can appreciate it because of its humor and its visuals. I thought that the movie was very inventive and I could appreciate it just because of that. Also, the soundtrack is great, and sometimes funny. The ending is great, and the last 10 seconds are hilarious. In fact, the only problem that I found was that about 5 times, the camera didn’t blend in too well with the action. But with a movie as good as this, I don’t really care, and you won’t either. If you cannot tell by now, I like “Scott Pilgrim Vs The World.” In fact, it’s one of my favorite movies of the year. But don’t let me tell you about it, see it! And if you like it as much as I do, ask for it for Christmas! Just go to your local Redbox and rent it, and once you get home, put it in your DVD player, because this movie rocks with the best of 2010.
Please comment on what you think of my review and say what you think I should review in the future, and try not to pick something that is rated “R”, because I only saw “The Terminator”, and my dad has been regretting it ever since. Also pick video games, and I want my fair share of badness! Also, “M” rated games apply the same rules as “R” rated movies!)
99% Okay For 13+
Jordy's Reviews: “Megamind” (2010)
You asked for it (OK, Jerry Grillo asked for it) and here it is: a review of “Megamind” by my nine-year-old nephew Jordy...
“Megamind” is like a marathon of coolness: it is great! Still… aw, who cares about the problems, it’s still good. But remember, I said good. Megamind is a parody of Superman in story, it really is. It goes like this: planet about to be sucked into black hole. Parents put child into pod thing. Pod lands on earth. Seriously, the only thing that makes the story succeed is that that they add some twists: the twists are all not making any difference in how I think of the story: I still think it is a parody of Superman.
The big twist is that another planet has the same idea, and the other planet sends home the good guy, while Megamind (Will Ferell) is the bad guy. If you’re wondering how he becomes a bad guy, his pod lands in prison, and he grows up learning the opposite way of life: crime. In one of their fights, he kills Superma-Metro Man (Brad Pitt) while Metroman’s closest (Tina Fey) is as about as shocked as Megamind is. (If you’re wondering why I brought that up, she’s an important part of the film.) But after Metro Man’s death, another supervillian comes to town, but was this destiny? Was this meant to happen so Megamind could be mega good? Find out by watching the movie!
The cast is excellent, and Cross steals the show as minion. I also thought the dialogue was good, as it entertains you along the way. I thought that the visuals were good, but needed to be more crowded. Look at the crowd at the opening of Metro Man’s ******! Wait, did you censor that? Good.
However, it does have a few problems. For example, it lacks originality. If you compare it to other movies, you’ll notice that some of the scenes have already been done before, yet in other movies. There is nothing wrong with parody (except when it becomes a cliché-yeah, I’m talking to you, parodying The Matrix!) but they just ran out of ideas here! The movie just regurgitates plot points from other animated efforts, as well as being the son of Despicable Me and The Incredibles, and I would prefer those any day. It also is just as not as funny as it should be. Yeah, I know about the whole “Presentation” thing, but it had less laughs than it should have, and, considering it’s a comedy, it detracts from the film.
But even though the problems do detract from it, “Megamind” is still a good movie. Sure, it may be nominated for animated movie of the year (never going to win, though!) but unlike “How To Train Your Dragon,” it is not a must-see movie. Even though it’s hard to not find something that has been done in a movie before, it’s also hard to not like “Megamind,” and even though this movie is not one of the geniuses of 2010, it is pretty good, and if you ever get time, go see it. (Consider this if you haven’t seen the other greats of this year.)
(Please comment on what you think of my review and say what you think I should review in the future, and try not to pick something that is rated “R”, because I only saw “The Terminator”, and my dad has been regretting it ever since. Also pick video games, and I want my fair share of badness! Also, “M” rated games apply the same rules as “R” rated movies!)
81% Okay For: 7+
Jordan Muschler, 2010
Jordy's Reviews: “How to Train Your Dragon” (2010)
Another must-read movie review by my nine-year-old nephew Jordy...
“How To Train Your Dragon” is based off a book, and whenever a movie is based off a book, it either is a great movie (“The Shining,” Harry Potter Series, “Stand By Me”), an okay movie, (“The Lightning Thief,” “Diary Of A Wimpy Kid”) or an awful movie.
However, “How To Train Your Dragon” is one of the best books turned into a movie ever. For starters, the animation is fantastic. Everything in the world is detailed, looks amazing, and the world they created will blow your mind. The characters all are very well voiced. They manage to put emotion into everything they say, so you can tell if they’re being sarcastic, if they’re angry. They express their feelings like they are the characters. Speaking of which, the characters are very well crafted. You will care for them, you will feel bad for them, and that is something only a great movie can do.
I did not get to see the movie in 3-D, but the scenes are still thrilling, and I bet they were incredible in 3-D. Also, the script has a very surprising dramatic depth, and it does well in making you enjoy the movie. The action scenes are great. They make use of the characters talent and they use their knowledge to win the battles. Parents, be warned that this is more of a kid movie, so you should watch this with your kids if you have any. (I am not saying that you should not watch this, because it is still a fantastic movie.)
Now, I think it’s time to finish… oh, wait, I forgot to tell you the story! In this movie, you meet Hiccup Horrendous Haddock The 3rd, (He says himself it’s a bad name) heir of the Viking chiefdom, who has one very big problem: a Viking he is not. “How To Train Your Dragon” is the righteous story of Hiccup’s quest to find the world’s fiercest dragon, bring it into submission, and hopefully pass his initiation by killing it. Instead, he finds out that the fiercest dragon on earth is also the most lovable one! The story gets deeper, but you’re going to have to find out why for yourself. I thought that “How To Train Your Dragon” was going to be an okay movie, but not a great one. I ended thinking that I was so wrong. “How To Train Your Dragon” is going to be nominated for animated movie of the movie of the year. I am not sure if it’s going to win, but it’s going to be nominated. I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but this movie is one of Dreamworks best films, and it’s their best animated film in my opinion. But you don’t have to take my word for it. See it yourself, because this movie soars with the best of 2010.
98% Iffy For: 6+
(Please comment on what you think of my review and say what you think I should review in the future, and try not to pick something that is rated “R”, because I only saw “The Terminator”, and my dad has been regretting it ever since.)
Jordan Muschler, 2010
Jordy's Review: “Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 1”
Another must-read movie review by my nine-year-old nephew Jordy...
I went to see this at 7:45 on Opening Day because I am a huge Harry Potter fan. I walk in early to get good seats and wait for it to start. When the movie starts, I become hooked. With its great comedic moments, fantastic acting, amazing special effects, and stunning visuals, this is going to be one of the most money-making movies of 2010. Daniel Radcliffe stars as Harry Potter, as he begins (it says part 1 because it’s not his whole adventure, and Part 2 is scheduled for July 2011 release) his journey for Vol- -wait, I better say He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Nam- aw, I’ll just say Voldemort’s Horcruxes.
Meanwhile, Ron (Rupert Grint) and Hermione (Emma Watson) help him find the Horcruxes. The main cast is excellent, and probably understands their characters well. The visuals were chosen wisely, and they seem to be taking the backgrounds straight from the books. The dialogue could have been better, but at least they took some of the lines from the books. The special effects are great, but I think they should’ve taken a look at Prisoner Of Askaban’s special effect’s and realized that it has the best special effects in the series because they’re not either a flash of light, a line, or sparks flying, they’re actually a bright light that is creative and cool. The action scenes really took a lot of the special effects to work, and, as I already said, the special effects are great, so the action scenes work really well and they seem to take place right when they should in the book.
Speaking of which, the movie follows the book really well, and seems as though they had a copy of the book while they were filmmaking and making sure that people who read the book wouldn’t be mad if they took out one of their favorite parts of the book. The cinematography usually works, but during one scene (which was an action scene with people chasing them), I couldn’t really tell what was happening. Yeah, I know it was probably just sparks flying, but the camera was too zoomed-in for you to tell what spells they’re using, and where the people who were chasing them were. It’s not really important, but it still is a problem.
Another thing I didn’t like about the movie was that unless you have read the book, it could be kind of hard to follow. Also, the ending was kind of disappointing because it makes it seem like J.K.Rowling would be making another book. However, Harry Potter 7 is definitely a great, emotional movie that really succeeds in being entertaining, funny, sometimes scary, and is definitely going to win at least one Oscar this year.
Let’s just hope that Part 2 can be even better. I think this is one of the best movies of the year, and I hope you will agree.
(New: 0 to 100 % and age recommendation!) 87%, Iffy For:13+